


Escape, Evade, and Ensnare

by Phlebas



Series: Courting Culture Confusion [6]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, BAMF Senju Tobirama, BAMF Team Tobirama, Because Senju Tobirama takes everything seriously, But also out again, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Genjutsu, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, It gets him into trouble, M/M, NO rape, No Sex, Paralysis, Restraints, Senju Hashirama is a Good Brother, Senju Tobirama is too competitive for anybody’s peace of mind, Senju Touka is a Good Sister, Team Tobirama-centric, Uchiha Hikaku is a Good Friend, Uchiha Izuna Lives, Uchiha Izuna is a Good Brother, Uchiha Madara is a Good Husband, Warring States Period (Naruto)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:01:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27961961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phlebas/pseuds/Phlebas
Summary: Team Tobirama vs. Kinkaku Force(Fight!)
Relationships: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara
Series: Courting Culture Confusion [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021387
Comments: 124
Kudos: 89





	1. Author’s Notes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Miray](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miray/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Escape and Evade](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27435208) by [Phlebas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phlebas/pseuds/Phlebas). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> World Building and Warnings!
> 
> (Please heed them.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Miray who requested Tobirama vs the Kinkaku Force all the way back on chapter 6 of _Escape and Evade_.
> 
> This is for you.

This is a direct sequel to _Caught and Captured_ and takes place six years after it ends.

Less goofy in tone than _Escape and Evade_ , it is told in long form prose, except for the final chapter. 

There are reasons for the differences from cannon in this story and many of them are contained in _The World Building of Escape and Evade_.

However, there is one difference that is more relevant than most so I’m going to put it upfront: The Heavy Combat Team.

There are only two of these, each with their permanent team lead.

They are reserved for long distance strikes on big targets, unauthorised shinobi incursions into village territory that can't be handled by the internal defence Chūnin/Jōnin teams, and - most importantly - rescue.

When a shinobi from the village - it’s still the USEATC to the rest of the world at this point - gets into trouble and sends up a flare / chakra spike, these are the guys who land on their location like an exploding tag going off and get them home. Managed by the Jōnin commander (because let's face it, they're all Jōnin), but the daily management of each team largely falls to the team lead.

At the time of this story, the Heavy Combat Teams are only two years old and were instituted by Madara when Hashirama retired as half of the Hokage team, leaving him as Nidaime.

Because of Tobirama.

Madara and Tobirama argued about it when Hashirama retired. Madara wanted to be _his_ backup like they’d always done it. Madara argued that Tobirama was his husband to protect. Tobirama argued that Madara was now the sole Hokage and tied to the village. Their children lived in the village, he had to be there to protect _them_.

Their compromise was the formation of the Heavy Combat Team.

Hashirama is on it - though he doesn't lead it - and he will be sent out in case Tobirama gets into trouble.

The Heavy Combat Team is, at least initially, CREATED TO RESCUE TOBIRAMA. Because Madara is CRAZY ABOUT HIS HUSBAND.

The teams at this point are as follows:

Team 1  
Uchiha Hikaku: Jōnin commander, team lead, doton, medium to long range fighter, interrogation specialist  
Senju Hashirama: Mokuton, close to long range fighter  
Uchiha Kikiyo: Katon, close to medium range fighter, infiltration specialist

Team 2  
Senju Tōka: Team lead, doton, close to medium range fighter, interrogation specialist  
Uchiha Izuna: Katon, close to medium range fighter, interrogation specialist  
Senju Ichika: Doton, medium to long range fighter, infiltration specialist

It’s actually one of the least demanding jobs a Jōnin can have since they’re very rarely called out. They mostly stay in the village and train. Many of them have other jobs or are semi-retired.

Hashirama and Izuna are good examples. Hashirama is a dad and home maker, who also does childcare for any pre-academy kid whose parents will let him feed them sugar. Izuna is a dad and holds down an administration post as Head of a T&I that has never had to torture or interrogate anyone. (Yet. He lives in hope. He mostly ends up inventing fun toys for their Recon teams with the T&I lab monkeys and doing intel analysis.)

Warning:

Contains cannon typical scenes of violence and a scene similar to a honeypot mission.

None of the characters feel degraded or sexually assaulted by what they are doing.

Please, read with care for yourself and skip the story if that is not for you.


	2. About to Run - Tobirama and Team Tobirama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you’re at a disadvantage.
> 
> (It doesn’t mean you give up.)

They are chakra depleted, pinned down, surrounded, and isolated.

They face the self-named Kinkaku Force - twenty Jōnin from Kumogakure, including the infamous Kingin Kyōdai, Kinkaku and Ginkaku - all of whom are have come specifically to derail the peace talks with the Raikage and stage a revolution within Kumo.

Their current goal is the death of Tobirama-sensei.

They are less than three days run from the village, but any attempt to break out of their small area of the forest by traditional means will certainly fail.

They need support.

They cannot rely on the Sensor Division to find them because the head of it is outside the village right now. All the remaining sensors do not have the range.

The only way to get support is to escape by _non-traditional_ means, reach the village, and summon the Heavy Combat Team.

Both Heavy Combat Teams are in the village at the moment, and - while one team would normally be held back in case of a second emergency - an incursion of this strength, so close to the village, will warrant the presence of both.

Tobirama-sensei has already alerted the village with his own sensor abilities that something has gone wrong with their mission, but the teams will need to know what they are about to walk into.

They need intel and there is only one way to get it to them.

Tobirama-sensei will use the Hiraishin to reach the village and supply the information needed.

The rest of Team Tobirama - and here everyone smirks - will use evasion tactics to delay the Kinkaku Force by any means necessary. If possible, they will attempt capture for interrogation.

Kagami-kun lays out their situation calmly and dispassionately, and Tobirama nods as he agrees with all the information being presented.

Truly the student has surpassed the master.

“I agree. Is there any information that you believe I should pass on that you think I have missed?”

They all shake their heads.

“Good luck, Sensei. We will be waiting for you when you return.” 

Kagami-kun appears confident and the rest of the team nods along with him.

He is proud of them.

“Very well. I am leaving.”

“Go and come back safely.” the whole team choruses at him.

He smiles as he reaches out for the closest Hiraishin marker in the direction of the village, makes a hand seal, and teleports away.


	3. Running in Circles - Koharu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you have to use the tools available to you.
> 
> (Particularly if they’re effective.)

All of their information on the Kingin Kyōdai shows a clear pattern.

They may have enormous chakra reserves, the ability to change their shapes to mimic the Kyūbi whose chakra they stole, and possess fabled weapons of legend, but they are still men.

And men who like to play with those they deem prey at that.

This is a pattern that Koharu can certainly take advantage of.

She is still shorter than everyone else in Team Tobirama and her shape is undeniably feminine. Since they were performing escort duties for Tobirama-sensei, she is dressed for combat rather than seduction but she does what she can. She carefully loosens her bun so that it looks like it is about to unravel, and drapes her fringe over her eyes to make herself look more demure. She makes a strategic rip in the collar of her shirt to reveal her neck and collar bones, and she ties her forehead protector low on her neck to draw attention to her breasts. She removes the mesh armour protecting her legs entirely and takes off her sandals.

If there is one thing that Koharu knows, it’s that when the blood in a man is swelling his genitals - it is not supporting the functioning of his brain.

If she can make her opponents underestimate her, and come within her reach by something as simple as arranging her clothing, she considers it a valuable weapon in her arsenal.

She arranges herself on the branch of a tree in the path of Kinkaku who - by all reports - is the dominant half of the pair.

As he crashes through on the ground, she will be just above his head and the naked leg she leaves hanging in mid air will both shield her weapons pouch and tempt him to look under her armour.

All goes precisely as she predicted.

He sees her, smirks, and postures.

There is some nonsense about how one as beautiful as she should not be out in the night alone before he reaches out to grasp her ankle and pull her into his arms.

He is an easy mark.

She coos and pats him on the cheek.

He smiles at her with triumph.

She activates the paralysis seal.

He falls over.

She wriggles out of the limp grasp of his arms and stands up.

Now for the next one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's pretty clear but - just in case - Koharu does not feel sexually assaulted by Kinkaku. Kinkaku does not feel sexually assaulted by Koharu.
> 
> The flirting is completely consensual on the part of both parties.
> 
> Being paralysed was not on Kinkaku's agenda.
> 
> That part was not consensual.


	4. Running in Circles - Kagami, Sarutobi, Torifu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, non-traditional techniques produce unexpected results.
> 
> (It happens quite often actually.)

Kagami and Saru are playing with an idiot.

As least he’s having fun.

Kagami himself is attempting to preserve a little dignity by using the shunshin to move from tree to tree, always remaining within sight but not reach.

Saru, on the other hand, looks like a monkey as he uses all four limbs to scramble from branch to branch so that he remains always just outside the grasp of Ginkaku’s enormous hands.

They almost have him. Almost… almost… there!

Torifu breaks out of the cover of the trees and crashes into their target, taking him to the ground.

He is screaming his famous war cry - the name of his current favourite snack.

Tonight, it appears that the food of the day is senbei.

And so, as Torifu attempts to pound the face of Ginkaku into paste, they are all treated to a lengthy description of how senbei is made, and why the other Akimichi chef that specialises in it is wrong, wrong, WRONG!

As expected, Ginkaku starts to laugh.

They have found that it is very hard to take someone seriously as a threat when they are ranting about snacks.

It is a wonderful tool for being underestimated.

Laughter disarms people.

It is something that they have all seen Tobirama-sensei put to good use, and it is a lesson that they have taken to heart.

Saru joins Torifu in pinning their target down, and he is so distracted that he does not notice Kagami’s approach.

Fingers touch his shoulder and the paralysis seal is activated.

He goes limp.

Now for the next one.


	5. Running in Circles - Homura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, it looks like you’re not doing anything.
> 
> (Even when you are.)

Homura is meditating.

As the only member of Team Tobirama who was not chakra depleted, it has fallen to him to distract as many members of the Kinkaku Force as he can while his team mates attempt to apprehend the Kingin Kyōdai.

As such, he has created a number of bunshin and is allowing them to lead the members of the Kinkaku Force in circles while he waits for his team mates to complete their mission.

And then, it will be on to the next task.


	6. About to Run Back - Tobirama and Madara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, there is only time for the essentials.
> 
> (Love is always essential.)

Tobirama arrives in front of his husband.

Madara is instantly on his feet.

“What’s happened? You weren’t expected back for a few more days, and we felt your chakra spike. I’ve been organising a relief force to go find you.”

He takes a deep breath. It will be important to convey the most amount of information in the least number of words to save time.

Also, he’s tired.

Using the Hiraishin this many times in quick succession is draining even for him.

“We were attacked. The peace treaty was disrupted. The Kinkaku Force followed us home. My team is three days run away and under attack. They need support.”

Madara processes quickly.

“Hashirama will be on his way within the hour. Eat a Hyōrōgan before you go back. We will be there by the time you collapse.”

His husband pauses.

“I love you.”

He takes the pills that he is offered and nods in return.

“I love you also.”

They have no time for more.

He reaches for the closest Hiraishin marker in the correct direction, makes a hand seal, and teleports away.


	7. Running Towards Trouble - Hashirama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big brother.
> 
> (Always worries.)

Hashirama is worried.

Otouto can take care of himself, and his team is competent.

But, from what Madara said, otouto was chakra depleted upon arrival and had to take a Hyōrōgan in order to use the Hiraishin.

That never happens.

They need to move quickly.

As such, it is only Tōka-kun, Hikaku-kun, and Izuna-kun who are with him.

No one else could keep up.

Just under three days run and they have made it in one.

They are almost there.


	8. Running Towards Trouble - Hikaku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you just have to hope.
> 
> (It’s all you can do.)

Senju-sama and his team are in trouble.

Izuna-sama is worried.

Tōka is worried.

Hashirama-sama is very worried.

They are all hiding it very badly.

It is the worst day he has had in a very long time.

They are taking a risk moving at this speed.

If they arrive chakra depleted, they will be of no help.

Instead, they will become useless bodies to be protected.

They carry Hyōrōgan of course, but they will fall once the artificial reserves are exhausted and then they will be vulnerable.

It is why Mito-hime and Madara-sama are still sending the relief force that was originally being organised when they felt Senju-sama’s chakra ripple over the village.

They are almost there.

He hopes that they will be in time.


	9. Running Towards Trouble - Izuna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you have to swear.
> 
> (It’s the only way to relieve frustration.)

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit!

Tobi is in trouble and he’s not there.

Piles and piles of shit falling from the sky.

They’re going to need a night soil collector just for this.

He’s disgusted with himself.

They’d all agreed that Tobi should be the one to go to the peace summit with the Raikage. Seto had better skills, but Tobi was the most senior person who was both an Uchiha and a Senju.

And now this.

This sucks.

When he gets back, he’ll relieve all of his emotions by yelling at his intel team who obviously failed to pick up on something important.

Like the fucking Kingin Kyōdai for a start.

Tobi better be okay when they get there and not have fallen over doing something stupid and self sacrificing.

If he has, he’ll kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You’ll note that only Madara and Izuna ever use ‘shit’ as a swear word.
> 
> This is because the Uchiha are not farmers. They’re nobles and artisans. Shit is an inconvenience to them.
> 
> The Senju will never use it as a swear word.
> 
> They’re farmers and merchants.
> 
> For them, shit is a valuable resource - it’s fertiliser.
> 
> For more information on how water and waste were treated in Japan during the Edo Period check out [ this handy article](http://wjsmith.faculty.unlv.edu/smithtest/Urban-Sanitation_PreIndustrial-Japan.pdf) by Susan B. Hanley from the _Journal of Interdisciplinary History_.


	10. Running Towards Trouble - Tōka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, having a little brother can be a total pain in the ass.
> 
> (You’ll never convince Tōka otherwise.)

Tōka leaps through the trees, orienting herself by the feel of otouto’s chakra.

There!

She arrives, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

Instead, the Kingin Kyōdai are lying at the base of a tree with just over half of the Kinkaku Force.

They are all paralysed, under sleep seals, and tied up.

Team Tobirama is standing guard.

“Where’s Tobirama?” she barks out.

The whole team points up.

She squints up into the upper layers of the canopy.

She can barely see him, hidden as he is by the glare of the sun.

She climbs up to join him.

He nods in greeting.

“Good afternoon, oneesan.”

She wants to punch him in the head.

“There’s nothing good about it! What the hell is going on!”

He smiles slightly.

God. Her adopted brother is such an ass. Why did she ever choose to love him.

“I am afraid that I might have been overly concerned. By the time I had returned, my team had already captured the Kingin Kyōdai and several members of the Kinkaku Force. I simply assisted in their efforts until the last four remaining members chose to flee. They are currently just under a day’s run in that direction.”

He points.

She does some mental calculations. The two Kingin Kyōdai, eleven Jōnin, four escaped.

“You were forced to kill only three?”

He nods again.

“Two early on - they underestimated my team. The last one by my hand. They were… resistant to my seals and my ninjutsu. Also, they were capable of a shape change. I am honestly not sure that they are truly dead.”

Hashirama calls up from below.

“No, it’s not dead! It’s just started talking about how it will bring its mother back to rule the world and we are all ants! And how I’m a reincarnation of someone it knew a long time ago!”

His voice is bizarrely cheerful.

Her former Clan Head is insane.

Thank the gods he’s not in charge anymore.

Still, at least this means one more person to interrogate.

She cracks her knuckles.

Best get to it.


	11. Omake - A Little More Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you don’t need to interrogate your prisoners.
> 
> (Sometimes, they’re all too happy to talk.)

Tōka: *in disbelief* So, let me get this straight. You’re part plant.

Dokuzetsu: Yes.

Tōka: And you’re the son of Princess Ōtsutsuki Kaguya.

Dokuzetsu: Yes! Kaa-san!

Tōka: Who is from another planet.

Dokuzetsu: Yes.

Tōka: She ate a Chakra Fruit from the God Tree of this planet and gained the ability to use chakra.

Dokuzetsu: Yes.

Tōka: Because of this she was worshipped as the Rabbit Goddess.

Dokuzetsu: Yes! As she should have been!

Tōka: Then she became a ten tailed beast by merging with the God Tree whose fruit she ate.

Dokuzetsu: Yes.

Tōka: And she was betrayed by her sons who sealed her in the celestial body that we call the moon.

Dokuzetsu: Yes! The bastards!

Tōka: And you’ve been manipulating the entirety of shinobi history to try and bring her back.

Dokuzetsu: Yes.

Tōka: For that goal, you manipulated her grandson Indra, his descendants the Uchiha Clan, and the reincarnations of both Indra and his brother Asura.

Dokuzetsu: Yes.

Tōka: *points at Madara and Hashirama who are sitting together* Who you say are these two.

Dokuzetsu: Yes!

Tōka: And you want them to kill each other because…?

Dokuzetsu: It will awaken the Rinnegan! And then I can use that to bring her back!

Tōka: I have only one last question for you.

Dokuzetsu: Yes?

Tōka: Are you crazy?

Dokuzetsu: NO!

Tōka: *turns to the Uchiha* Does he really believe all of this?

All the Uchiha: *in disbelief* Yes.

Tōka: Fuck my life.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a sequel to this, but it won’t be posted for a while.
> 
> Partly that's because I have to finish _To Tempt a Target_ first since the defeat of Zetsu (and thus Kaguya - because I am NOT sending shinobi to the MOON) will have spoilers for it.
> 
> But also, because it will not be crack treated seriously.
> 
> It will be crack treated as crack.
> 
> Because I cannot take Zetsu seriously.
> 
> At all.
> 
> And so, tomorrow, you will get _Wild Wolves_ , the story of Immigrant Iruka and Clan Kakashi.
> 
> Have fun!

**Author's Note:**

> On a completely different note, I set up a server on Discord to discuss this series and you can go poke me there: https://discord.gg/JWZckgxBwf
> 
> EDIT: I'm so sorry the link was broken! I changed it and hopefully this one works!
> 
> All the warnings for this series applies to any content that may be found on there and I swear. Just FYI.


End file.
